Space. The Final Frontier.
It's tough to make space as a mother. People seem to need me all the time. My children have immediate needs as soon as I enter the bathroom. It's like they are waiting and watching. She's alone! Now!
We all grapple with finding space for ourselves. What I'm learning to really embrace is allowing myself to take up space, to push outward with my dreams, ambitions, opinions, and needs in my hands, asserting their importance on our family's daily calendar.
I've always been big.
And I've spent a good amount of time slouching and hiding, afraid to really let loose with what I want to do or create, afraid of taking up too much space or making too much noise. Day 18's yoga practice reminded me that this kind of apologetic living gets me nowhere. It is fine for me to take up space, stretch out my arms, and be true to myself. When I do this with a real sincerity, then my arms are then ready, wide open to love and embrace the people that need me. And they do need me.
They need me to be happy.
They need me to be fulfilled.
They need me to be healthy, energized, authentic, and present.
I can't be those things if I am tiptoeing around life, seeking some sort of permission to take up space. The people I love most in the world need me to love myself so I can be better at loving them. They need my space to matter.
So, I close the door. I take my time. I stretch out my arms and breathe in my space. Then, when I open the door, I am ready. I am ready to be big.