To Whom It May Concern
I've been on this earth now for a week and I have to say, I'm having a hard time. Something keeps clawing my face, I don't understand a thing you are saying to me, and I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. I am sincerely hoping this improves.
P.S. You look tired.
The thing that is clawing your face is your own hand. You've yet to realize that it is attached to your body. Someday, you'll be able to use hands to your advantage, but for now they seem to act of their own free will.
I'm not having a super easy time of it either, to be honest. The hungry ALL THE TIME thing isn't so easy on me, the source of all your sustenance. Also, eating leads to peeing and pooping, which also makes things harder for me. This week I was completely baffled by the process.
Your onesie was soaking wet. So, I took it off and prepared to change your diaper (again. . ). Lo and behold, the diaper was completely dry even though your onesie was soaking wet with pee. I was both mystified and impressed. This happened several more times and I was beginning to think that you were possibly a wizard with your gravity defying antics.
Then, during one of the necessary but not really necessary diaper changes, I witnessed the phenomenon in action. You peed as I was changing you (this is a favorite hobby of yours) and I realized that the circumcision bandage had turned your penis into a cannon, lifting up the diaper and creating a straight shot out the top, soaking the onesie repeatedly. Mystery solved. A little tucking and everything was back to normal.
I'm sorry you don't understand me yet. If it makes you feel any better, I have no idea what you are saying either. Hopefully, we both get better at this.
P.S. I perhaps look tired because I am tired. Sometimes, I forget my own name and fall asleep on the toilet. Please go to sleep.
Sorry about the cannon.
But, to be honest, considering why said bandage was where it was, I'd say you had it coming.
I've always enjoyed epistolary novels.
It is quite possible due to the fact that I like saying epistolary.
Another thing that I think wonderful is England--the landscape, the books, the movies, the accent, the history--all of it. So, when I stumbled across a book that combines both letters AND England, I simply could not wait. And I was definitely not disappointed.
84, Charing Cross Road is, to put quite simply, delicious. It is this delectable little book that had me laughing out loud and longing for both a pen pal and a plane ticket to London. I felt inspired to write my own little epistolary exchange between myself and my oldest son, Isaac. Life would have been much easier if infant Isaac could actually communicated this way. Heck, life would be easier if newly adult Isaac could communicate this way. But, alas, we all have to muddle along, understanding each other as best we can. I think part of the magic of letters is in the delay of them. They give you time to think, breathe, and wait. Conversations and texting are rather instant, and sometimes we don't put our best foot forward when we have to respond instantly.
Read this lovely book and then, if you're willing, take a moment and send someone a letter. There might not be an answer, but there will be a joyful surprise when they receive it, and that is a wonderful thing to send out in the world. It is completely worth the postage.